I went to Dr. Topping this morning and described my pain and such. She thinks that it is not any tumors or cancer or anything, as I don't bleed during a lot of the pain. She thinks it is muscle pain and not only gave me a Lupron perscription, but will refer me to a chronic pain clinic in Calgary; it's not covered by AISH down here, but whatever.
and...she wants to see me again in six months.
Tuesday 10 December 2019
Tuesday 23 April 2019
The Lord hears what is in my heart - April 23, 2019
I am a member of a small theatre group in my city and we sometimes get together just to hang out, eat, and read funny plays. I am judt starting to regain bits of my life and so I decided to go.
I had an odd experience at the play reading tonight. Another Mormon girl was there and she happened to have endometriosis, but is also in a relationship that is headed towards marriage. I shared my concerns and she said there are a lot of good, understanding guys out there. I'm mystified now that I'm reflecting on it.
I'm completely convinced that God wanted me to meet this girl and understand that I too can have those blessings despite the struggle I endure. I do not yet know if this is a sign that such things are on the horizon, but tonight's experience has given me hope.
I had an odd experience at the play reading tonight. Another Mormon girl was there and she happened to have endometriosis, but is also in a relationship that is headed towards marriage. I shared my concerns and she said there are a lot of good, understanding guys out there. I'm mystified now that I'm reflecting on it.
I'm completely convinced that God wanted me to meet this girl and understand that I too can have those blessings despite the struggle I endure. I do not yet know if this is a sign that such things are on the horizon, but tonight's experience has given me hope.
April 23, 2019 - Epiphany
I had a powerful epiphany tonight and this is the first moment that hope and reality have collided. I have come to realize that if I were to ever get pregnant and give birth, the whole effort might be too much for me physically. This is something that has been on my mind for a while, but it's just now beginning to feel like a realistic scenario.
I have endometriosis and it's an insane condition that can affect fertility, cripple a healthy body, and also trigger Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the body. I'm not sure how long I've had it, but it was officially diagnosed two years ago after I pestered the shizz out of the doctors about endless suffering I was enduring. Anyway, I've had two surgeries for it and I'm doing better than I was, but it's not perfect and it may never be perfect, but that's okay. I have to learn to accept these limitations and find joy despite them.
Had I not relied on my writing and made a blog about my health, I would have just kept it bottled up inside. There are so many emotions associated with these conditions, but I am trying to keep positive and focus on being grateful for what I can do and what I have. People have tried to treat me like these conditions are dramatic attempts at attention-seeking or fake, but I assure you all, this is my reality now.
Things are better than they were, but I am not who I used to be either and I don't think I can go back to that. My hope in sharing this is to bring about awareness to who I really am and also gain compassion for what my reality is.
I have endometriosis and it's an insane condition that can affect fertility, cripple a healthy body, and also trigger Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the body. I'm not sure how long I've had it, but it was officially diagnosed two years ago after I pestered the shizz out of the doctors about endless suffering I was enduring. Anyway, I've had two surgeries for it and I'm doing better than I was, but it's not perfect and it may never be perfect, but that's okay. I have to learn to accept these limitations and find joy despite them.
Had I not relied on my writing and made a blog about my health, I would have just kept it bottled up inside. There are so many emotions associated with these conditions, but I am trying to keep positive and focus on being grateful for what I can do and what I have. People have tried to treat me like these conditions are dramatic attempts at attention-seeking or fake, but I assure you all, this is my reality now.
Things are better than they were, but I am not who I used to be either and I don't think I can go back to that. My hope in sharing this is to bring about awareness to who I really am and also gain compassion for what my reality is.
Tuesday 12 March 2019
March 12, 2019 - Six Week Follow up appointment!
I had my six week follow-up today with Dr. Topping and these are the points we discussed:
-My body is being slow to accept the IUD and slow to recover from surgery.
-Dr. Topping suggested I use a period tracker app or keep track of bleeding and pain on calendar over the next couple of months to see how my body is adjusting.
-My body is being slow to accept the IUD and slow to recover from surgery.
-Dr. Topping suggested I use a period tracker app or keep track of bleeding and pain on calendar over the next couple of months to see how my body is adjusting.
-The endometriosis is cured for now...emphasis on 'for now.'
-Dr. Topping found deposits of endo along pelvic linings and in stomach and she got them out, but they are NOT cancerous! I worried about cancer because my dad, grandparents, and uncle on my dad's side died from it and loads of people on my mom's side of the family died from it.
-The goal now is to stop bleeding...
-Dr. Topping told me to give the Mirena time to work and wants to see me in a couple months to see how my body and the IUD are adjusting to each other. She also now thinks I have irritable bowel syndrome, but I already suspected that and am managing that with changes in my eating. I cannot eat anything with peanut butter or cinnamon anymore, especially, as it makes me vomit on the spot.
-Dr. Topping will arrange the next appointment with her office for a couple months from now and if I'm still struggling, I'll probably get another medication along with keeping the IUD. The fact that the IUD is seemingly working is making me realize that the chances of having children naturally are LOW and that is something I have been working on accepting since this drama started.
-I can travel and I am looking forward to doing that!
-I CAN HAVE BATHS AGAIN! After the surgery, I was told I couldn't have baths for six weeks and I had my papa install a telephone shower in my apartment so I could shower more comfortably. I am so happy to be able to bathe again, though, as the baths are also a mental health buffer to decompress from daily stresses.
Thursday 31 January 2019
January 29, 2019 - Surgery for Endometriosis
The day started off very, very early and I had to be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m., but I didn't actually get registered until closer to 7 a.m. Once I was registered, I went up to the Day Surgery unit and was eventually given my own little rest cubicle. I put on a gown, got into bed, and they had a HORRIBLE time starting an IV because my veins are trashy and eventually decided to let the anesthesiologist take care of it in pre-op. A nurse also got to shave parts where incisions would be made, which was on different parts of the stomach, and I got uneasy because I am not used to strangers touching me on the stomach or anything like that. I got sent off to pre-op very quickly (around 8:30 a.m.)and I was put on this skinny operating bed and the anesthesiologist did get an IV started! I don't remember much after that...
THIS...this is a photo of inside of me and a sample of what they took out!
It looks like a spider egg sac, doesn't it? These little buggers were why I was in so much pain all the time even doing simple things. I don't know how many of these things were removed, but there were four incisions when the surgery was over and I am now sporting an IUD to help me with issues. I don't know where the endo was, but I have it and this is confirmation that I was not faking it. I got nasty messages from people who thought I was faking it and this confirms that they are nothing but idiots! I hope these things don't grow back, as they look very frightening.
Anyway, the next thing I know, I'm in post-op and I choose to roll on to my side because it's more comfortable for me than laying flat. By the time they take me back to my cubicle, I need to use the bathroom and manage to do so without assistance. I was released in the early afternoon and went straight to bed because I was tired and just wanted to sleep.
THIS...this is a photo of inside of me and a sample of what they took out!
It looks like a spider egg sac, doesn't it? These little buggers were why I was in so much pain all the time even doing simple things. I don't know how many of these things were removed, but there were four incisions when the surgery was over and I am now sporting an IUD to help me with issues. I don't know where the endo was, but I have it and this is confirmation that I was not faking it. I got nasty messages from people who thought I was faking it and this confirms that they are nothing but idiots! I hope these things don't grow back, as they look very frightening.
Anyway, the next thing I know, I'm in post-op and I choose to roll on to my side because it's more comfortable for me than laying flat. By the time they take me back to my cubicle, I need to use the bathroom and manage to do so without assistance. I was released in the early afternoon and went straight to bed because I was tired and just wanted to sleep.
Friday 11 January 2019
January 10, 2019 - Health Update
Health update for all those who are interested: As far as I know now, I will be having surgery for endometriosis on January 29 and the plan is a D&C, excision, and scope of both pelvis and stomach, and insertion of IUD. If it's crappy in there, though, I may just tell them to remove what is bad and leave the rest.
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