Another lupron shot, some clarity, and some grief - December 1, 2021

 I got another Lupron shot today and during the shot, Dr. Topping and I chatted about how all the meds are working and how she is impressed about the weight loss I have experienced. I have lost at least 50 pounds over the course of the pandemic due to changes I have made in my eating and the fact that I am taking my self-monitored physiotherapy so seriously. We talked COVID and I said I was being super careful because I had had reactions, ie: periods, to the shots, and who knows what would happen if I got it with my endo? She also said being heavyset might also affect my health if I got COVID. 

I also asked what would happen if I went off all meds to have a child someday because it's something that's been on my mind for a while and I wanted an answer on it. I was worried I would die. Dr. Topping explained that I probably wouldn't die, but that I would probably have a tough time carrying a kid/having a pregnancy and I would get very sick and it would be very hard to get me back into a healthy state. I admitted that I know, as it took a lot to stabilize me to where I am at now. I admitted I had written articles and a blog about having endo and she enthusiastically said that's good, as it needs to be talked about.

Anyway, I booked my next appointment and left. I cried a bit at the bus stop because I felt a bit hollow at the news, but I didn't cry long. I knew it would be problematic, but to hear it...wow. 

Call with physiotherapist - October 12, 2021

 The physiotherapist called and asked me how the funding for the city athletic stuff is going, but COVID is making that so hard to access. She also suggested I do mall walking and strength exercises in my home via videos she sent me via email. I have goals of wanting to go to entertainment conventions across the border next year if they happen, so I need to work at those...

Call with physiotherapist - September 24, 2021

I had a talk with my physiotherapist over the phone today and as much as they and I wanted to get me into the pool for water activity, COVID is out of control here and I dare not risk it. They will re-send me some things on YouTube I can do around my house while we wait for the crisis to ease. I was also encouraged to continue walking and also do walking around the mall when the weather changes. I am also partaking in a safe away from home activity for my mental health this weekend and they seemed pleased about that. 

Update - September 21, 2021

I went to the clinic for another shot. The needles are as big as a hairbrush and it's stressful to have to take four medications for endometriosis at nearly 34 years old, but they keep me stable and able to function. They make me put on a little weight, but I am able to counter the weight gain with controlling what I eat, drinking water, and going for walks. I could have started swimming and maybe gym work this year if COVID hadn't gone into a fourth wave, but people are being irresponsible with protesting, refusing vaccinations, and refusing to follow health restrictions. I am doing my best to be responsible, stay safe, and keep as sane as I can even though others aren't being safe or responsible. Anyway I got into the appointment reasonably quickly and in the appointment, I mentioned some bleeding and expressed concern that maybe the meds I was on wasn't enough and said maybe they should do something more. Topping, however, said that the bleeding is normal and there's nothing they can do surgically anyway because they aren't even doing surgeries cause of covid...and we just should keep going as we are now.

Thoughts on Amy Schumer revealing she has endometriosis and what she did about it - September 19, 2021

 

I read this on social media today and it reminded me that I am not alone in this battle that I've been dealing with for a long time. Others are also entrenched in this ugly battle that endometriosis is. When I saw her reveal this via the media, I actually went to her Twitter and said, "Thank you for being open about your endometriosis. I have it too and I am currently on four medications for it, all of which stabilize me. I've also written a blog about my journey. It's nice to hear others talk about their journeys because then I don't feel alone."

I actually talked to my mother about this today and she said, "well, that is what you might have to end up doing and it might take the pain away or it might not." 

I'll add more later...

Update - August 17, 2021

I am now on 4 meds and feel like a walking pharmacy.

Topiramate: 1 in the morning, 3 in the evening.

Estradot, 1 patch twice a week.

Lupron: 1 shot every three months

and the IUD, which is inside me.

I've lost weight during this pandemic because of the meds, the food changes, and the self-guided physio I do. Wowzers. I am way below 300. Oh my God.

Update - March 6, 2021

The bloodwork looks good, so I am thankfully cancer-free. Yet, the battle is still ongoing.

I am on four medications: the Mirena IUD, the Lupron shot, the Topiramate (2 per day) pills to keep the pain away, and estradot patches on the hips every few days for hormones. I'm 33, but I am in a body that belongs to someone in their 40s. I am also on a physical therapy regimen of walking three times a week and most of the time, I manage that well. I did try yoga for a bit, but yoga is not my thing, so I quit at the advice of the kinesiologist. There are still bad physical days when the IBS kicks in and smashes my body to bits, but I am doing my best to eat healthy and a lot less, so whatever happens happens. 

On the bad days, there can be bleeding along with mad amounts of diarrhea even when I don't eat all that much or anything at all. If my body can barely manage itself on those bad days, I can't help but wonder how it will manage a child or if it can at all? Should I let it? I know God commanded that we are to multiply and replenish the earth, but I have really been questioning whether or not I can and should ever since late 2017 when I got diagnosed. Would it be safe for me to get pregnant or can I even get pregnant? If I did get pregnant, would I be able to carry a baby to term safely or would I lose it? If I carried a kid, would I die or get massively spent giving birth? I'm not married yet, so there is time for me to process these questions, but I know they will have to eventually be addressed if the opportunity for marriage comes within the childbearing years. I'm Mormon and I know what the expectations for Mormon women are in regards to children, but I have let those go even though it hurts others to hear me admit it.

Bloodwork at the hospital- January 15, 2021

I came to the Community Blood Lab this morning and I had been told on the phone that I could walk in, but they actually preferred that people phone for appointments. Anyway, they let me in and took my form. The place was somewhat busy, but everyone was masked and distanced appropriately. After waiting for a while, I was called in and the tech was very quick at finding a vein and drawing five vials of blood. The labwork should be back Monday and then I'll know if anything is actually up.

Trip to Richmond Road Diagnostic and Treatment Centre in Calgary - January 14, 2021

The appointment was set for 8 a.m., so I woke at 6:45 a.m. and was at the building itself shortly after 7:30 a.m.. There were COVID screeners just inside the building and I quickly passed the screening before making my way upstairs to the appropriate area. I first met with a nurse and got my blood pressure and weight taken. I also admitted I was nervous about the physical because I had never had a pelvic while conscious or felt it. For my procedures, I was either unconscious or had a spinal block. The nurse was understanding and I got to talk with Dr. Robert first before anything was actually done. The physiotherapist was also there and the two of them felt different parts of my body before they had me lie down so that Dr. Robert could do the pelvic. It was a painful process that make me feel like my insides were being gutted and she ultimately determined that the endometriosis was under control, but that my muscles were tight. Dr. Robert also ordered some bloodwork, though, to make sure she didn't miss anything. I also got a referral to a psychologist to discuss my pain and a kinesiologist and on top of all that, I got a perscription for a new medication to help with pain. A 4th medication...at 33 years old. I am turning into a walking pharmacy and I have just barely touched middle age. How horrifying.

After that appointment was done, I went and saw the kinesiologist. She was very nice and taught me some exercises related to posture and breathing and also told me to do more walking for smaller intervals throughout the week. 

Reflections - January 13, 2021

Seeking any sort of medical treatment, let alone constant medical treatment, during COVID is really burdensome. I never thought I'd have to utilize the medical system so heavily during a global pandemic, but here I am. I guess this is part of the refinement plan God has for me. I just have to trust in the plan God has for me and keep pushing forward to deal with what is and what may yet come in terms of my health journey. God will be with me every step of the way and I know that he will make my burdens bearable.

Another shot, another medication - December 30, 2020

 I got in to the actual appointment rather quickly and Dr. Topping gave me my shot and then put me back on the Estradot to help with the hot flashes. We also discussed the appointments on January 14th.