I am a member of a small theatre group in my city and we sometimes get together just to hang out, eat, and read funny plays. I am judt starting to regain bits of my life and so I decided to go.
I had an odd experience at the play reading tonight. Another Mormon girl was there and she happened to have endometriosis, but is also in a relationship that is headed towards marriage. I shared my concerns and she said there are a lot of good, understanding guys out there. I'm mystified now that I'm reflecting on it.
I'm completely convinced that God wanted me to meet this girl and understand that I too can have those blessings despite the struggle I endure. I do not yet know if this is a sign that such things are on the horizon, but tonight's experience has given me hope.
Tuesday 23 April 2019
April 23, 2019 - Epiphany
I had a powerful epiphany tonight and this is the first moment that hope and reality have collided. I have come to realize that if I were to ever get pregnant and give birth, the whole effort might be too much for me physically. This is something that has been on my mind for a while, but it's just now beginning to feel like a realistic scenario.
I have endometriosis and it's an insane condition that can affect fertility, cripple a healthy body, and also trigger Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the body. I'm not sure how long I've had it, but it was officially diagnosed two years ago after I pestered the shizz out of the doctors about endless suffering I was enduring. Anyway, I've had two surgeries for it and I'm doing better than I was, but it's not perfect and it may never be perfect, but that's okay. I have to learn to accept these limitations and find joy despite them.
Had I not relied on my writing and made a blog about my health, I would have just kept it bottled up inside. There are so many emotions associated with these conditions, but I am trying to keep positive and focus on being grateful for what I can do and what I have. People have tried to treat me like these conditions are dramatic attempts at attention-seeking or fake, but I assure you all, this is my reality now.
Things are better than they were, but I am not who I used to be either and I don't think I can go back to that. My hope in sharing this is to bring about awareness to who I really am and also gain compassion for what my reality is.
I have endometriosis and it's an insane condition that can affect fertility, cripple a healthy body, and also trigger Irritable Bowel Syndrome in the body. I'm not sure how long I've had it, but it was officially diagnosed two years ago after I pestered the shizz out of the doctors about endless suffering I was enduring. Anyway, I've had two surgeries for it and I'm doing better than I was, but it's not perfect and it may never be perfect, but that's okay. I have to learn to accept these limitations and find joy despite them.
Had I not relied on my writing and made a blog about my health, I would have just kept it bottled up inside. There are so many emotions associated with these conditions, but I am trying to keep positive and focus on being grateful for what I can do and what I have. People have tried to treat me like these conditions are dramatic attempts at attention-seeking or fake, but I assure you all, this is my reality now.
Things are better than they were, but I am not who I used to be either and I don't think I can go back to that. My hope in sharing this is to bring about awareness to who I really am and also gain compassion for what my reality is.
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