The bloodwork looks good, so I am thankfully cancer-free. Yet, the battle is still ongoing.
I am on four medications: the Mirena IUD, the Lupron shot, the Topiramate (2 per day) pills to keep the pain away, and estradot patches on the hips every few days for hormones. I'm 33, but I am in a body that belongs to someone in their 40s. I am also on a physical therapy regimen of walking three times a week and most of the time, I manage that well. I did try yoga for a bit, but yoga is not my thing, so I quit at the advice of the kinesiologist. There are still bad physical days when the IBS kicks in and smashes my body to bits, but I am doing my best to eat healthy and a lot less, so whatever happens happens.
On the bad days, there can be bleeding along with mad amounts of diarrhea even when I don't eat all that much or anything at all. If my body can barely manage itself on those bad days, I can't help but wonder how it will manage a child or if it can at all? Should I let it? I know God commanded that we are to multiply and replenish the earth, but I have really been questioning whether or not I can and should ever since late 2017 when I got diagnosed. Would it be safe for me to get pregnant or can I even get pregnant? If I did get pregnant, would I be able to carry a baby to term safely or would I lose it? If I carried a kid, would I die or get massively spent giving birth? I'm not married yet, so there is time for me to process these questions, but I know they will have to eventually be addressed if the opportunity for marriage comes within the childbearing years. I'm Mormon and I know what the expectations for Mormon women are in regards to children, but I have let those go even though it hurts others to hear me admit it.
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